Part of the solopreneurship or to be honest any job or event in your life - sometimes you may feel like you got 10 steps back even though you felt just a second ago you are ahead with your plans and dreams. How not lose yourself? How to get back to the spot you were in?
You won't. Wait, hear me out.
After setbacks or failures, we never go back, we always go one step further than previously. Why? Because we learn and we take accountability for our actions. We reflect on the reasons for the situation. If not us, so let's hope our brains do! We look at how we reacted, how our surroundings changed. Who is still close and who left. Yet, it doesn't feel like growth right after. It takes a while to see that WOW, you managed from that 'snail hole' to be where you are now.
It took me a while to see my 2021 in a bit better light. Through this year I went through quite an interesting path: operation, bankruptcy, losing a job, a family member, not getting paid, working in two jobs and having multiple clients, no free evenings or weekends, having my breakdown, starting therapy. finding my path again, then having a moment with a stalker, etc. - quite a ride, yeah? And yet, I was wondering why this Year felt much harder than previous years when I dealt with similar or even harder situations.
Memory is a weird land in our brains. Seems that my body chose to block all negative sides and released the monsters only after I was triggered by one of the events. I also had lots of anger. Anger to situations that felt unfair and that I am putting myself always last on the priority list. Simply my mind and my body said - 'Hola, it's time to talk'.
I felt so so so so so back to the starting point of everything that did not notice how much I achieved, how much I worked, have grown in my work experience, and how much I learned to be grateful and empathetic towards others. I also learned that I am still in my journey of being a human with all the flows. Learning to accept my mistakes and let go of people that are toxic in my environment, let go of situations that I can't control, and simply learn to breathe or make a stop when it's needed.
Digging deep is learning about yourself. Never ever forget that each day is something special, something that builds you, shows your strengths and weaknesses that you can work on. Every day is a chance to start.
And am I perfect after my observations? No. I will still do some mistakes, feel sometimes uncomfortable or even scared, angry. But now I have this little text that is dedicated to Lina in 2022. And hey, 2021 still going, I might ready this later.
Hugs, my monsters!